I get it, using ChatGPT and AI in business can make our work output so much quicker but unfortunately many business owners think they can hand over everything to AI without doing any of the thinking and research themselves.
A common task I am seeing many ask AI to do for them is asking it to tell them what their ideal clients are struggling with, to define their ideal client’s pain points and desires. And sure, AI spits out some answers that sound pretty good. But here’s what I wish every business owner understood when creating their marketing. Knowing your ideal clients pain points and desires is literally the most critical part of your marketing, and you can’t outsource it to a robot. If you get this wrong you will struggle with getting high quality leads and sales.
I know it’s tempting. It’s fast. It’s easy. You get a neat little list of pain points and desires in about 30 seconds. But that’s not how magnetic marketing works.
Why ChatGPT Can’t Replace Real Conversations
Look, I’m not anti-AI. I use it in my business too. But when it comes to understanding what’s really going on in your ideal client’s head? There’s no substitute for actual human connection.
ChatGPT can give you ideas. It can help you brainstorm. It can even point you in interesting directions. But it can’t tell you the exact words your clients use when they’re venting to their best friend at 11 PM. It doesn’t know the specific phrases they type into Google at 2 AM when they can’t sleep because they’re stressed about their problem.
And those words? Those exact phrases? That’s marketing gold.
The Real Work of Understanding Your People
Understanding your ideal clients intimately takes actual work. It means you need to start having real conversations.
Talk to them. Like, actually talk to them.
Have coffee chats. Jump on Zoom calls. Send voice messages back and forth. Ask them questions and then, this is the crucial part, be quiet and listen.
Listen to how they describe their problems. Pay attention to the words they use, the metaphors they create, the way they explain what’s keeping them up at night. Don’t interrupt to correct them or educate them. Just listen and take notes.
When someone tells you they feel “stuck in quicksand” or “like they’re spinning their wheels” or “drowning in overwhelm,” write that down. Word for word. Because when you use those exact phrases in your marketing later, they’re going to feel like you’re reading their mind.
Mine the Gold Where Your People Are Already Talking
Here’s the beautiful thing – your ideal clients are already out there talking about their problems. You just need to know where to look and what to listen for.
Social media is a goldmine. Go where your people hang out. Read through the comments on posts related to your offer. What are people saying? What questions are they asking? What frustrations are they expressing?
Head over to Amazon and read book reviews in your niche. I’m serious about this one. People write incredibly detailed reviews about what they were hoping to learn, what they struggled with, and whether the book helped them. That’s free market research right there.
YouTube comments are another treasure trove. Find videos that relate to your offer and scroll through the comments. You’ll see people sharing their stories, asking questions, and revealing exactly what they’re dealing with.
Reddit threads. Facebook groups. Instagram DMs. These are the places where your people are being real about what they’re going through.
Why Their Words Matter So Much
When you use your clients’ actual language in your marketing, something magical happens. They feel seen. They feel understood. They think, “Oh my god, yes! That’s exactly how I feel!”
That’s the difference between marketing that converts and marketing that falls flat.
But here’s where most of us mess up – we step into expert mode. We use industry terminology. We explain things the way we understand them now, after years of experience. We forget what it was like before we knew what we know.
I need you to step back from your expert status for a minute. Remember what it felt like when you were where your clients are now. What words did you use then? Probably not the fancy terms you use today.
Your clients aren’t searching for “optimizing their conversion funnel.” They’re searching for “why isn’t anyone buying my stuff.” See the difference?
Creating Marketing That Feels Like Mind Reading
When you nail your client’s language, your marketing becomes magnetic. People will reach out and say things like, “I felt like you were talking directly to me,” or “It’s like you were in my head.”
That’s not magic. That’s the result of doing the real work of understanding your people.
So instead of asking ChatGPT to guess what your clients want, go find out. Have those conversations. Do that research. Take those notes. Collect those exact phrases and specific words.
Then, when you sit down to write your content, pull out those notes. Use their language. Speak to their actual experience, not what you think their experience might be.
That’s when everything changes. That’s when the right people start showing up, ready to work with you, because they finally feel like someone truly gets them.
Your Next Move
I want you to commit to having three real conversations with your ideal clients this week. Not sales calls. Not pitches. Just genuine conversations where you ask questions and listen.
Ask them what they’re struggling with right now. Ask them what they’ve tried that hasn’t worked. Ask them what success would look like for them.
Then take those insights and let them guide everything you create. Your social posts. Your emails. Your sales pages. All of it.
Because at the end of the day, marketing that works isn’t about being clever or sounding impressive. It’s about making your people feel deeply understood.
And no AI can do that for you. Only you can.
I would love to hear your thoughts...